I was content, I would even argue happy. And I’m still unsure if its my self sabotaging behaviour or my curiosity and bad timing that ruined it. She said I need to stop seeing the one who cant make up their mind in order to meet the one who will. For a split moment I wondered if they were the same person. 

I have this constant desire to fix you, and my god it hurts to know that it wont be me. 

I have to do it, I have to end it but I am already hurting and the longer I wait, the more its going to kill me inside. 

Lost.

This stagnant lifestyle has me awfully depressed. I am wasted and I am needy. I need love or something. I need an escape. I am awful. In my mind I imagine my life where I can roam free again, explore and distract myself from these thoughts.

I am bored and I am alone. I don’t know who to turn to. Who do you talk to when it seems like no one is on your side. How do you make this all go away. These thoughts should stop eventually. I really hope. I’m tired of being resilient when I just want to be weak.

It’s so hard to see a way out when I’m lost and stuck here.

softromanticwanderer:

Instagram: alaswrites